Scared ;_;

Last night after I made my previous blog post, I went right to bed. Tired, you see. But I woke up during the middle of the night, around one, and there he was in my desk chair, staring at me. The ghost of my grandfather smiled and said that he hadn’t meant to wake me up.

I… I was terrified, is there any other way to say that? It’s just not natural. :c I asked him what he was doing here, and he told me that there was “business that must be taken care of”. I asked him why he was here instead of… instead of in Heaven, and he laughed. Not his kind and gentle laugh, like he had in life. This one was cold and bitter and full of spite.

“Sarah, there is no God.”

The statement was… unexpected. He used to be a very religious man – one of the elders in our church, actually. He was an inspiration to me, and many others… His faith is what kept me going for a long time. I thought the first few times I had seen him after he had died had been a vision, some sort of sign, but… I don’t think so, not anymore. ._.

“You’ve placed faith in a fairytale, a myth,” he said, standing up straight. His clothes changed from a sweater and khaki pants to the suit he wore at his funeral.

“This,” he said, pointing to himself, “is God.”

I… the last thing I remember was my grandfather bursting into light and blinding me.

I thought it was a dream at first, but… at breakfast my little sister turned to me and asked how come grandpa could visit us but daddy couldn’t.

… Oh, God, what is happening? She must have been in the crawlspace, coming to sleep in my bed, and saw him… But that means he – it – was real. How is that possible?